lately, i've been very anxious. i am having trouble eating, sleeping, concentrating...in a way i feel like i am trying to avoid the inevitable. i know that in less than five days, i will be leaving this country, and i won't be returning for at least five months.
every time it is brought up in conversation, i begin to feel sick. naturally, i attempt to sweep it under the rug or bury it underground, so i won't have to look at it or deal with it. the main pain is simply the anticipation. if i could simply go through with it, get established, get calm...then i think i could find some rest. but it is this uncertainty which is shredding my nerves to pulp.
this is a picture i took of some nuclei.
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