i’m worried about you, coop

i’ve been keeping fairly busy with my work. for about 10 hours of the day i am at the office, then i usually either head off to play some pick-up soccer or i go for a run. i spend the evenings alone, studying materials for the optometry admissions test or looking over czech language texts. i’m not sure if i’m making much progress in either area.

at least i’m keeping active and distracted. it passes the days and gives me short term activities to focus on, so i am not as anxious about the mess my life is soon to become. unfortunately, i believe i may have to confront those difficult decisions within the next few days.

this year my fourth of july was seven hours shorter than last year’s. last year i found myself on a transatlantic flight from paris to chicago. this year i found myself drinking beer while sitting with some friends in metal patio furniture in some back yard, talking about whatever. in the evening i didn’t watch the fireworks but i sat in my car while i talked on my cell phone, trying to avoid hearing words i know are eventually going to come but which i hope to postpone as long as possible.

eventually, i am going to have to face reality.

i am leaving america.